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New Wizards

Feb 28, 2018

Aaron Sorkin guest directs our introduction to the other minister. Snape puts a hex on Narcissa after she sets her glass down on his teak coffee table without a coaster. We meet Slughorn and immediately get an invite to connect with him on LinkedIn. Uncle Vernon and Dumbledore kiss.

Feb 21, 2018

We take a brief pause from our journey through the books to respond to all your letters, which have completely clogged up our chimney at this point. We talk wizard psychology! We go deeper on Queerius! We consider the characters as dogs! It’s about damn time.

Feb 14, 2018

Book Five is finally done after almost three months — that’s roughly the gestation period for leopards. We’re leopard dads from this book alone! We get to see what it’s like when two REAL wizards get to dueling, and it turns out it's set to “Spybreak!” by the Propellerheads. We go insanely deep on the...

Feb 9, 2018

Uber, but for thestrals.  Neville combines gunplay, martial arts, and rapid trigonometry in Equilibrium (2002, dir. Kurt Wimmer). A man gets a baby’s head, and becomes a popular YouTuber. Sirius dies, but comes back as a snowman in Jack Frost (1998, dir. Troy Miller).